The Crazy Dating World

So...I finally took the plunge.

Exactly 4 days after my birthday, I joined match.com. I vowed that if I hadn't met a great guy by the time I turned 3- (wait, you don't need to know that), "a certain age" that I would try the online dating world. I went through the obligatory membership rigmarole which entailed answering many questions about myself and my ideal mate, and coming up with an interesting byline. In a way it was nice to stop and think about how to describe myself and exactly what I'm looking for in a mate.

Once my profile was complete and I had loaded recent, honest pictures of myself, I was ready to start searching. Let's see...what should I put in the age range? How far away from my zip code am I willing to search? Do I really care if they have been married or have kids? I decided to be more 'strict' at first and that if I didn't find anything I would gradually lessen my demands (standards?). This was all new to me but I had to start somewhere.

Initial (negative) discoveries:

1. There are many, many of you (i.e. men) who do not know how to take a picture of yourself, nor do you know which photographs best suit your overall look. I don't know any women who want to see a profile picture of you, laying across your bed propped up on one arm...nor do we want to see you flexing your arm muscles in the bathroom mirror while taking a picture with your phone (let me assure you there are plenty of these). I also do not find "model" pictures attractive whatsoever. You know the kind...a man standing or leaning on a bent knee with his jacket 'casually' slung over his shoulder. Gag me.

2. Improper grammar and spelling apparently run rampant in this world. If you cannot even spellcheck your profile description then I am at a loss for how you know how to use a computer, much less carry on an intelligent conversation. Oh, and please understand that no woman is interested in reading a profile in which you ARE SCREAMING IN CAPS THE ENTIRE TIME AND NOT USING ANY PUNCTUATION BUT INSTEAD JUST KEEP TALKING ABOUT THINGS YOU LIKE AND WHAT MUSIC YOU LISTEN TO.

3. If you have kids, you should be honest in the standard "about me" section. Several men had "No" listed next to "Have children" yet mention in their description that they love spending time with their 10-year-old son. ???

4. Men apparently think that WE think it's cute when they refer to themselves in the third person or advertise themselves as "a catch." The reality? No, we don't. Just give me a brief description of yourself, how you like to spend your free time, what interests you, and what you hope to find in an ideal match. I don't need to hear how "Super Dave" is "the one" I've been searching for or how "Mikeluvsu" is "more than a girl could ask for and then some."

Initial (positive) discoveries:

1. There are quite a few men my age who have never been married and have no kids. I'm not saying I am not open to falling in love with someone who has been married and/or has kids. But of course I would prefer to share those things with someone who hasn't already. I also like the fact that so many of them put "definitely" next to "Want children."

2. There are some cute, single guys out there! I realize that a picture is merely a moment in time and does nothing to really tell me about a person. But come on, a nice smile is enough to get me interested! And so many of the profiles have made me laugh and smile. It's a good thing.

3. At first I thought the "wink" feature was cheesy (you can wink at someone if they catch your attention and you are interested, but perhaps not quite ready to send an email). But it really makes sense. I see the wink as an equivalent to "smiling from across the room" when someone catches your eye. And, yes, I have winked at several men on the site!

4. When you pay for a membership, you can see who has viewed you. I totally dig this feature. Call it an ego boost, but I enjoy logging on and seeing who stopped in to peruse my profile. :)

All in all, this experience so far (it's been exactly one week) has been fun, interesting, and eye-opening. I've been emailed several times and even had my very first date on Tuesday night. [see next post]

I will admit that my friend, Karlie, and I have spent a few lunch hours trolling the site and checking out the lame, the cheesy, and the clueless. But for the most part, there are some pretty decent fellows out there. So hop along for the ride because I'm about to become a pro at dating. :)