I was active in middle school and some of high school, playing volleyball, basketball, softball, and occasionally running track (I did the mile and sucked). I wasn't into running back then very much but did enjoy sports. I ran a 5k with one of my besties, Katie, in 8th grade and remember it vividly because I was miserable. I think my time was like 28 minutes, so not stellar even for a kid! I've never been a fast runner and it's just not my bag, baby! (Austin Powers anyone??)
By the time I turned 19 I was living at home and going to a local community college. My parents (avid runners since I was a child) were enjoying the trails and greenbelts (as they are called in Kingwood) one summer. I decided to go with them one day and even though I had to stop a few times, the real runner in me was born.
I probably ran 6 days a week back then, 3-4 miles at a time. I was by no means fast. I just hit the pavement and enjoyed myself. The job I worked back then sometimes didn't end until after 9:00 pm but I always went out for a run afterward. My friends were really into partying then, and even though I would hang out with them (after my run) I just wasn't as in to drinking anymore. I was loving how my body was changing and how running was part of my life. I was not overweight back then--I was very thin. But I gradually fell out of the running by the time I was 22. I was living with who I thought was the man of my dreams and we became very unhealthy. We ate out all the time or ordered in and never exercised. I was lucky at first because my youth kept me from gaining weight.
But one summer in 2002 I had to work from home for about 6 months. Our new office was being built in downtown Houston so I did all of my work from my little apartment (had moved out of the apartment with the boyfriend although we were still together unfortunately). I started eating whatever I wanted, any time of the day. I had been a vegetarian for about 5 years but never really ate fast food. Well, I discovered that I could still be a "vegetarian" and eat crappy food, like nachos! The back-then-boyfriend introduced me to places like Taco Cabana and I just ate away. Okay, so I'm not blaming the ex-boyfriend on my weight gain, although our troubled relationship and his eating habits had a lot to do with it.
I began to notice that my clothes weren't fitting...this had NEVER been a problem for me. In fact, there were several times in my life when close weren't fitting because I was LOSING weight, not gaining! I stepped on the scale--something I rarely did back then--and realized I had gained a good 15-20 pounds in what seemed like only a few months. IT'S TOTALLY POSSIBLE, PEOPLE! Family began to notice how quickly my body had changed and I know they wondered what was going on...it's one thing to lose weight quickly and they were somewhat used to that. But to start gaining weight out of nowhere was not me. I was 26 then and had no idea how much poor eating and a bad relationship would affect the next several years of my life.
In 2006 I decided to make a major life change. The bad relationship had ended but I was severely affected mentally and emotionally by the whole thing. I was very overweight, sad, and turned inward, which is NOT like me at all. I shied away from friends and family, and spent a lot of time alone at home. Other than work, I stayed in my apartment. My parents had recently moved back to Oklahoma (my entire family was born there) and I hated being away from them. I realized that it was the perfect time for me to make a move. I was not married, had no kids, and could easily pick up and go. I found a great job, packed up, and hit the road!
When I moved up to Oklahoma in 2006, I was at my highest weight of all time. I had gained upwards of 70 pounds in 7 years. Shocking and gross, I know. But it's actually easy to do and unfortunately it's happening all over the country every day. It took 3 more years of feeling miserable, embarrassed, ashamed, and unhappy with myself to a) get over the bad relationship of my 20's, and b) decide to do something about my health. By exercising and watching what I ate, I lost 40 pounds in less than a year. When I started running (again) last year, I could barely manage a mile without stopping. I can now run a 5k with ease and excitement, and so far my longest distance has been 6 miles. I am still by no means a fast runner, and that's totally cool in my book. I'm not out there to win the races or be as fast as I can be. I'm out there because I love to run!
I think with any weight-loss and/or exercise program, setting a goal is a great way to stay motivated. Last fall I completed several 5k races and a 5-miler this past February. I signed up for the OKC Memorial Half-Marathon which was April 25, 2010. Unfortunately, I did not commit myself fully to the training and ended up running the 5k instead. I've learned a lot about myself and my running in the last few months. I know that I need to set tangible goals for ME and not what I think I should be doing. Running a half-marathon is just something I want to try--I may hate it and never want to do it again! But it's on my Bucket List so I'm going for it. My new plan is to sign up for the OKC Memorial Half for 2011. I want to be ready and feel fully capable of finishing with a smile (well, hopefully I can manage a smile after 13.1 miles!), and I plan to be 30 pounds lighter! In the meantime, my goal is to run a race every month, be it a 5k, 10k, or anything up to 10 miles. Because the summer heat is coming on strong here in beautiful Oklahoma, my regular runs must be done in the early morning or late evening. I do not run well in the heat--anything above 80 degrees. Moreover, I have a spastic colon (aka IBS) and it definitely adds a challenge to my running. You'll notice in some of my blog posts I am open and honest about how #2 plays a part in my life. Anyway, I think a good plan is to not worry so much about long runs every week, but instead try to run a little bit every day (well, 5-6 days a week). I will still complete a longer run every 2 weeks or so, but I do so much better when I run a little bit every day--it really helps with avoiding injury. I am strength training 1-2 days a week and HOPE to try swimming this summer. What a great way to burn calories!!
Running a race every month is a great way to meet new people, try something new, and gauge my progress. As I mentioned before, I am not about winning the races. I just want to continue challenging myself (plus, most of the races usually benefit a good cause). My long-time goals are to reach my ideal weight (the safe, right way) and find balance between a healthy lifestyle and life in the real world. For now, I try to eat healthy as much as possible but I am realistic! I love beer, wine, cheese, french fries, cupcakes, ranch dressing, Mexican food, and yes, Dr. Pepper!!
I'm 34 now and I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I am proud of my accomplishments and how much I've grown, both mentally and spiritually. These last 30 pounds will be tough and I do struggle every day to find that balance and to not beat myself up about not looking the way I did in my twenties. But I remind myself that my weight does not define me. I am a strong, independent, intelligent, loving woman. I am determined to keep running, eating healthy as much as possible, and to enjoy this life. I eventually hope to meet the REAL man of my dreams and live a life full of love and laughter. One day at a time, I'll get there! I've got my mojo back! (Again with the Austin Powers!)
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can change,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Courage to change the things I can change,
And wisdom to know the difference.
I wear this necklace every.single.day.
